My Neighbor Installed a Toilet on My Lawn with a Note, ‘Flush Your Opinion Here,’ After I Asked Her Not to Sunbathe in Front of My Son’s Window

She pulled down her oversized sunglasses and grinned at me. “Renee! Are you here to borrow some tanning oil? It’s coconut-scented, makes you smell like a tropical vacation.”

I forced a smile. “Actually, I wanted to talk about your sunbathing spot. It’s right in front of my son Jake’s window, and he’s 15, so…”

Before I could finish, she cut me off, her grin widening into something that made me a bit uneasy. “Are you serious? You’re worried about where I get my vitamin D? It’s my yard!”

“I’m not telling you what to do, but could you maybe move your chair to another spot? You have so much space, after all.”

She smirked and waved me off. “Honey, if your son has issues with seeing a confident woman, maybe you should invest in better blinds. Or therapy. Or both. I know a great life coach.”

I tried to explain, but she wasn’t interested. “Renee, my tanning schedule’s fully booked with not caring about your opinion until forever. Good luck with your little problem.” And with that, she went back to her tanning like I hadn’t said a word.

I walked back inside, shaking my head. I had a bad feeling this wasn’t the end of it. And boy, was I right.

A couple of days later, I opened my front door to grab the newspaper, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Right in the middle of my lawn, surrounded by my pristine flowers, was an old, filthy toilet. It was rusted, grimy, and looked like it had been pulled straight from a landfill. There was also a sign propped up on it that read, “FLUSH YOUR OPINION HERE!”

I didn’t need Sherlock Holmes to figure out who was responsible.