My Mother Kicked Me Out of the Church for Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock

Never dated, and never seemed interested in finding love again.

Sometimes I catch her looking at Daddy’s photo on the mantle with such longing that it breaks my heart. I wish she’d give herself permission to be happy again, but we don’t have the kind of relationship where I can say that.

“Mama,” I tried once, “don’t you ever get lonely?”

“I’ve got you,” she replied, smoothing down her skirt. “That’s all the company I need.”

Everything was sailing smoothly until that morning I woke up feeling too sick.

I swear I couldn’t even move, and the thought of having breakfast nearly made me puke.

Oh no… I thought. The nausea, the fatigue… Does it mean I’m pregnant?

That was the first thing that came to my mind because Glenn and I got intimate a few weeks earlier.

I was super scared, and my hands were trembling so bad I could barely open the drawer where I’d hidden the pregnancy tests.

“Please, please, please,” I whispered, watching that little window. “Please tell me I’m wrong!”

But two pink lines appeared clear as day, and my world tilted sideways.

I sank down onto my bathroom floor while my heart pounded inside my chest.

“This can’t be happening,” I muttered, staring at the test. “I’m only nineteen. I can’t have a baby. I can’t…”

A few minutes later, I found myself pacing the bedroom.

“How am I gonna hide this from Mama?” I asked myself. “She’ll never understand. A baby? Out of wedlock? In our family?”