JOKE OF THE DAY: Do you fart in bed?

He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in……………….…..”

Don’t just keep it, share it along!

BONUS STORY

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupted to tell him, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.”

He looked at her and angrily said, “Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have a GE logo printed on my forehead? I don’t think so.”

“Fine.” Then the wife asks, “Well then could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right.” To which he replied, “Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have ‘Westinghouse’ written on my forehead? I don’t think so.”

“Fine,” she said. “Then at least you could fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break.”

“I’m not a carpenter and I don’t want to fix steps,” he said. “Does it look like I have ‘Ace Hardware’ written on my forehead? I don’t think so. I’ve had enough of you. I’m going to the bar!”

So he went to the bar and had drinks for a couple of hours until he started to feel guilty about how he treated his wife and decided to go home.

As he walked into the house, he noticed that the steps were already fixed. Once inside the house, he saw the hall light is working. As he went to get a beer, he noticed the fridge door was fixed as well.