In paradise, two women exchange “How I Died” tales, and the resulting joke is invaluable

“All right, sister, dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water and you might be admitted,” says St. Peter. When she does, Heaven is opened to her. “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” St. Peter asks the second nun. “Well, there was this one instance where I briefly held one.”

“All right, sister, you can be admitted if you simply wash your hands in the Holy Water.” When she does, Heaven is opened to her. At this point, the queue is jostling and making noise. One nun appears to be attempting to cut in front of another! When St. Peter notices this, he asks the nun, “What is this, Sister Susan? There’s no hurry!

“Well, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff,” Sister Susan replies.